If one more person tells me I'm glowing, I think I'll throw up on myself. I think they are mistaken, the glow is from the oil all these zits are secreting! I have pimples that I never had in high school...and thankfully many are hidden on my ear, or neck... but the others...those nasty little buggers planted squarely on my cheek or nose, are a little MORE obvious. And my boss Mark loves to point them out. Ugh.
Then, we have the clothes. Really...I mean really? They are MUCH better than they used to be, I know... I know.. but quite frankly, you still look like a duck (and I'm not even waddling yet). I will say, when I see OTHER people I can honestly say they look beautiful or my personal favorite to hear: "You look SO CUTE" - ugh. Babies are cute, puppies are cute... still, I find myself saying it. Said it to Kristin yesterday. She DOES look adorable though, me... I look more like an orca.
I have to admit that this whole pregnancy thing is NOT for me. NO way, no how. I DO think I am cut out to be a mom, but this whole out of body experience, giving your body over to the little person inside you....bleck. I can't stand it. I'm ready for it to be over with even though I KNOW it's creating something magical, a gift from God. That part I believe with all of my heart.
Most days, I think I am at peace about it and then... there it is... my cottage cheese or just the SIZE of me. Ugh. Really... really? I mean, it gets bad enough and then for some unknown reason, God allows that. I think it's to really work out any ounce of pride that you have left so when you go to the table for delivery, you flat out don't care. God bless Holt, the man tries to tell me he still thinks I'm sexy and beautiful... yeah, as I said before.. for an orca - maybe.
Then there is the nausea. Why oh why must I still have that? Meat... nasty... veggies... still not my friend. Thankfully many things can be eaten that are covered in some sort of a sauce. I still can't even use my mint toothpaste without a full on gag. My favorite gum..goodbye... and I have a HUGE issue with bad breath so now I've taken to spearmint which I previously hated. Who would have known. Oh and let us now forget the joy of the over sized prenatal vitamin. YUM!
Then today, I had the joy of SQUEEZING into my maternity clothes and slipping on a pair of heels. yeah right... slipping. It was more like trying to stuff sausages into a pen cap. Nice. To top it all off, you have to spend a billion dollars on baby stuff and really don't have the cash to blow on stuff you'll wear (and then hate) for no more than 9 months. I have a new appreciation for baby showers and see how they are SO important for people to be able to prepare. Thank you Margie, Deb and Kimmie for my shower!! Oh and lastly, my boobs... yeah, they couldn't be more ridiculous. And it's only going to get worse. Need I say more?
The VERY large pillow that I sleep with has had a few names (Bruce or Ben I think - no clue why) but those never stick. But I have to say, I am eternally grateful for whoever made it, it's fabulous. It takes an act of Congress for me to flip during the night. I'm not sure if I wake Holt or not even though I believe I have accidentally punched him a few times. My doctor mentioned to him that I'm not allowed to sleep on my back anymore, so thankfully he wakes me and reminds me to flip on my side. All I can think of in the moment is how badly I want to sleep on my stomach. Then, I flip.
Oh...and to run again. If I ever complain about HAVING to workout...remind me how much I missed it. I know, I know.. I still could but I canceled my gym membership because I wasn't going and I have a perfectly good (and free) street to walk on. Aslan and I both need the exercise, we're just working through explaining to Simba that he needs to stay with Daddy and not howl the entire time.
Don't get me wrong, I am VERY excited about my son. I really am. I will love being a mom, because I loved it before. It's just this whole process of getting to that point that's a beating. My mom LOVED being pregnant, my sister in law LOVED being pregnant..I have friends who are begging to get pregnant so I feel bad complaining but hey, it's my blog, I can do whatever I want with it.
Tristan, mommy and daddy love you and can't wait to meet you. January 11th can't come soon enough. One of these days very soon, I'm sure) you are going to kick me and once again remind me that it's all worth it. But, for today - I think all of you "I love being pregnant" people are NUTS. But I love you anyway. If everyone where like me, the world would be a VERY small place!
Thanks for letting me vent and please don't lecture me because I will make YOU my next "can you believe this" post. And trust me, I'm not glowing... it's probably sweat because did I mention - you get HOT every 5 seconds!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Adios - JB
4 years ago