Tristan Holt Barber is here

Tristan Holt Barber is here

Tristan Holt Barber

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

Monday, April 6, 2009

And the countdown begins

Mom, you are going back to work? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT??


Well, I'm writing this in between crying. I've never been so sad.. well, maybe not NEVER...but this ranks up there. I am so sad to be leaving Tristan to head back to work. I bought myself a necklace today with his name on it.. hoping that it would make me feel like he's with me in some odd sense. I also made a brag book so I can have pics at my desk to look through. I'm sure it will make me cry, hopefully not in front of my bosses.

I know I will be fine, I know this will become easier but for today.. I'm sad and overwhelmed and have all of these irrational fears that my son won't know me anymore. I know... I told you they were irrational... but they still exist. I'm told by all my mom friends that it's normal and he WON'T forget me and that in time, this will be normal. Holt and I are going to try and add Thursday tennis to our schedule just to do something together ..without Tristan (wipes tear) and if my in-laws want, they can watch him for those 30 minutes and then we can head home. Gives them time with him too but to be honest, I hate giving even 30 minutes up because I have such limited time with him and it makes my heart sick to share a second of it. I don't mind sharing I guess... I mind the NOT BEING THERE part. This too shall pass....

Here are a few cute little pics of my Nugget. Mr. Cheeks can almost get in here on his own and I know he's just gonna love it as much as his bouncy chair and his floor mat (minus the tummy time of course!)

Gonna go reapply my makeup to lunch with my hubby! Man, I love this kid. Sheesh

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