...Well, 2 days and counting and I'm just truly allowing myself to FEEL everything. Poor Holt..he's watching me FEEL everything and I think he's ready to run for the hills.
I've decided, I'm still going to pump 7 times a day (God help me) and hopefully that will be enough to feed Tristan. I won't be taking lunch but hey...pumping is way more fun and it will be interesting to watch my friends that want to HAVE lunch with me when I make them sit there with me when I'm pumping. I'm telling you ...you lose ALL modesty when you have a kid, I mean, they are no longer boobs...they are food. And no mom, I will NOT be having lunches with my guy friends. Sheesh. LOL
Then I have told Holt that for the next month I am NOT doing ANYTHING after work. I am spending that ONE beautiful hour with Tristan and giving him a bath, feeding him, etc. before he goes down for the night. Don't ask me to do ANYTHING and when I am ready... I will jump back into the real world. The beauty of it is..he can do whatever he wants. I've already scheduled 2 poker nights for him, he's taking a boys trip and going to Cancun for work so don't feel too sorry for him. He's faring quite well.
I'm talking to a lot of my girlies. Julanne, Ginger, Brigitte, Stacy, Holly... you all made me feel sane and normal today. Man did I need that! And although I haven't talked to you today Durby, YOU made me feel normal because we've talked about all of your feelings about working and having a newborn.
I've also been blessed by my in-laws, they are letting me borrow their treadmill. Now I just need a truck to go and pick it up and MAYBE just maybe... I will be able to squeeze back into my clothes. I had to get 4 pair of pants from Old Navy yesterday because I have NOTHING that I fit into. Ugh... it's depressing for many reasons but this alone can send me into sheer depression. Must run, Muuuuuuuuuuuuust run............ ugh. Only when my boy is sleeping though - period! That's what the man-rage (Holt's spiffy garage for poker parties- I will send a pic soon) is for!
I am guarding my time with Holt and Tristan and on occasion will start to get out. At some point, we will ...ok, I WILL be letting people babysit but for now I want that time with Tristan. I can't help it. Just where I'm at. Hopefully I'll be over by May 2nd..it's the Kenny Chesney concert that I can't imagine missing.
All in all I am better this afternoon than I was this morning. Cried ALL DAY. Even dropped tears on Mr. Cheeks cheeks.. ha! he laughed at me which was even more appropriate. Holt then went to a funeral... SEE why you should feel sorry for him. Gosh.
Ok, well, I'm done venting and since most people come here for the photos.. I threw in a random few just so you could wake back up from the monotony of my griping!!