He's my greatest joy....

Well, Holt had a boy's trip this weekend... so Mr. T and I spent the weekend together. After an incredibly stressful week at work... I went on radio silence for 24 hours and just enjoyed my son. We played, we laughed, he got sticky so I stuck him in his tub... and we just really, REALLY enjoyed the time together.

It's getting reasonably easier to put him to bed at night. I used to have major anxiety because I miss him and I know my time with him is much more limited than it was. I don't cry much any more though. I felt guilty for that at first... but then I realized, it's just me accepting my life right now.

I think this period has been hard on Holt even though he won't admit it. I'm not much fun anymore and I realize that. I'm still not ready to be without Tristan for much more than an hour or so. Again...just me making the most of my time with him.

But, I realize, Holt needs me too. So, I'm trying to find more things that Holt likes to do that are kid friendly. We've decided that until Tristan is past the SIDS stage and we can just lay him down at a friend's house...we'll have people here. It's just really, really hard because he doesn't nap well, usually not at all if he's not in his bed. He used to love his car seat but those days are long gone. Luckily, he's up more now so we do go and do stuff ... but it's hard for me to enjoy myself when I have him in a moses basket in another room and he's screaming. Again, I'm not opposed to him "crying it out" but again, until we are past the death stage (SIDS) - we're compromising.

I found this awesome site for kids swimming... it basically teaches them how to swim AND float should they fall in a pool - fully clothed... starting at 6 months old. I haven't quite figured out HOW I am going to do this because it's in the mornings, 5 days a week and I work. I doubt I can talk Holt into it but man, I would feel SO much better if he took this. My in-laws have a pool, we are at the lake...and my friend Tracy's son had drowned and was floating in her pool when I neighbor saw him and brought him back to life. Thank you Lord! So anyway, as a mom, all of those worries go through my head over and over and over... but we'll see.

http://www.infantswim.com/home.html

watch the video on the bottom left hand side or the bottom right showing little baby miles... it's AMAZING!

Anyway, Holt's on his way home, Tristan is sleeping and I managed to walk one dog at a time having Tristan in the stroller so all is quiet in my house. I may go read my book on NC... we may move to Charlotte at some point...here's to dreaming. Or.... I think I'll go and just sit... and pray for my friends and family and for the insanity that lies ahead in my week.

Life sure isn't easy but is sho' is FUN! HAPPY SUNDAY!