Oh my gosh, it's happened.. the wall is once again here. I am back to being exhausted most of the time. Ugh. NOT AGAIN! I've been chatting with Durby for the last few days and OMG... she is exhausted, drained, crying.... and I am NOT looking forward to that. I WANT MY MOMMY!!!
The reality of what is about to happen is setting in. Thank you Lord that my husband is SO fabulous. I'm not kidding, God knew what He was doing when He gave me Holt. Holtie went to the Daddy Boot Camp class on Tuesday and came home all fired up and ready to take action. He came home with all sorts of fabulous information and ways to support me and my new role as a mom. He even decided that it was very important for him to be at my breastfeeding class!! I guess spending time with a pediatrician/dad who's already "been there, done that" and a bunch of other guys gives you some great perspective and wisdom. I am suddenly looking to him for a ton of knowledge. We have lots to chat about over the next 54 days but my husband is AMAZING and is on board 150%. I love you Holt Barber and I could NEVER do this without you.
Holt has also decided to get a part time job for a while and although I know it's necessary, it breaks my heart. I am sad that we will have less time together, I'm sad that our already stretched schedule will be stretched ever more. I will be home and he will have to head into the office vs. having the freedom of working out of our home. We barely see our friends and I haven't even begun to volunteer at church yet. Toss in the fact that we are going to try and both take turns going to the gym starting in January and then of course... squeeze in date night/dance lessons... it's overload. I'm sure some of the despair is hormones.. some of it is our economy and how scary things are getting for everyone and the fact that Holt and I STILL haven't sold our house in Chicago and my credit is trashed... it's just YUCKY. It feels overwhelming but I know that God will work out all of the details. I think once he travels for his TiGi trip in January and I survive my week alone - I'll feel better. A week alone with a newborn is slightly intimidating when you throw in the no sleep factor and two needy dogs Thankfully I have friends and family who have offered to step up and be on call when I need them. Trust me... I'll need you and I WILL CALL.
Kristin also said in her blog that she is really struggling thinking about going back to work. She stayed home with Trenton (her first) for a year and now with Carter, she has to come back after 10 weeks. I keep thinking it won't be possible for me to struggle with this, I am NOT made to be a stay at home mom. I think you ladies are crazy and saints at the same time. Hopefully, that will remain the case because I have to work and I don't want to have to fight off that emotion daily too. So, please keep me in your prayers that my love of 8-5 remains....
Also, on a side note... please pray for my friend Joelle. She is one of my roomies from college and physically isn't doing well. She has lupus but has also had brain, stomach and ovarian cancer. It has been a VERY hard year for her and I can't imagine how she does it each and every day. On top of it all... someone that she loves dearly tried to commit suicide a few days ago and that has once again broken her very fragile heart. I hear stories like hers and realize that my life is simple, my worries feel petty but as my mom always reminds me, everything - everyone's troubles - are relative. So perspective is key... and Jo... when you read this.. know that you are loved and not alone.
Ok, I have to run... well, waddle now... Tristan has decided that my bladder is a punching bag and lo' and behold... I have to pee. Maybe I'll go sleep in my car for my lunch hour. Oooooh I'll steal ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's anywhere I can!!
The reality of what is about to happen is setting in. Thank you Lord that my husband is SO fabulous. I'm not kidding, God knew what He was doing when He gave me Holt. Holtie went to the Daddy Boot Camp class on Tuesday and came home all fired up and ready to take action. He came home with all sorts of fabulous information and ways to support me and my new role as a mom. He even decided that it was very important for him to be at my breastfeeding class!! I guess spending time with a pediatrician/dad who's already "been there, done that" and a bunch of other guys gives you some great perspective and wisdom. I am suddenly looking to him for a ton of knowledge. We have lots to chat about over the next 54 days but my husband is AMAZING and is on board 150%. I love you Holt Barber and I could NEVER do this without you.
Holt has also decided to get a part time job for a while and although I know it's necessary, it breaks my heart. I am sad that we will have less time together, I'm sad that our already stretched schedule will be stretched ever more. I will be home and he will have to head into the office vs. having the freedom of working out of our home. We barely see our friends and I haven't even begun to volunteer at church yet. Toss in the fact that we are going to try and both take turns going to the gym starting in January and then of course... squeeze in date night/dance lessons... it's overload. I'm sure some of the despair is hormones.. some of it is our economy and how scary things are getting for everyone and the fact that Holt and I STILL haven't sold our house in Chicago and my credit is trashed... it's just YUCKY. It feels overwhelming but I know that God will work out all of the details. I think once he travels for his TiGi trip in January and I survive my week alone - I'll feel better. A week alone with a newborn is slightly intimidating when you throw in the no sleep factor and two needy dogs Thankfully I have friends and family who have offered to step up and be on call when I need them. Trust me... I'll need you and I WILL CALL.
Kristin also said in her blog that she is really struggling thinking about going back to work. She stayed home with Trenton (her first) for a year and now with Carter, she has to come back after 10 weeks. I keep thinking it won't be possible for me to struggle with this, I am NOT made to be a stay at home mom. I think you ladies are crazy and saints at the same time. Hopefully, that will remain the case because I have to work and I don't want to have to fight off that emotion daily too. So, please keep me in your prayers that my love of 8-5 remains....
Also, on a side note... please pray for my friend Joelle. She is one of my roomies from college and physically isn't doing well. She has lupus but has also had brain, stomach and ovarian cancer. It has been a VERY hard year for her and I can't imagine how she does it each and every day. On top of it all... someone that she loves dearly tried to commit suicide a few days ago and that has once again broken her very fragile heart. I hear stories like hers and realize that my life is simple, my worries feel petty but as my mom always reminds me, everything - everyone's troubles - are relative. So perspective is key... and Jo... when you read this.. know that you are loved and not alone.
Ok, I have to run... well, waddle now... Tristan has decided that my bladder is a punching bag and lo' and behold... I have to pee. Maybe I'll go sleep in my car for my lunch hour. Oooooh I'll steal ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's anywhere I can!!
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ReplyDeletei think you posted that picture of you sleeping just to rub it in my face. lol. :)
i will pray for your friend. i have been praying for her. so when she reads this she can totally be weirded out that strangers are thinking about her. :)