Tristan Holt Barber is here

Tristan Holt Barber is here

Tristan Holt Barber

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

Sunday, October 19, 2008

84 days and couting...where oh where are my ya-yas!?

After a brutal beating for the Dallas Cowboy's I decided I should get over my bad mood ... and quick. So, I ran to get my hair cut and return a few last minute items. In the process of that, I could feel my son (still odd to say) kicking and had a little grin on my face. I have a human being growing in my body. It's weird to say the least... and no matter how hard Holt tries to "feel pregnant" - he's not. These are the days I miss being surrounded by my friends most. Thankfully Kristin tells me funny stories and scary "about to happen" things or I think I would go insane. I find it very annoying to talk to the people that just skipped through their pregnancy, they had all the cutest maternity clothes, or just wore a size up from Guess or Gap, they were never tired and just waddled their way through those 1o long months. Oh and the ones that can say, yes, my boobs grew... a little. Ba humbug!

These are days I wish I could curl up into a ball a living room with my Ya-Ya's. They are the ones who have seen me at my worst, they don't take me the wrong way, they will pop my pimples and make me where lip gloss when appropriate. They won't tell me that I have to FEEL ok, they won't lie to me when THEY aren't ok... they've just done every ounce of life with me...and I miss them. Don't get me wrong, I have great friends here, I have great friends in LA, Charleston, Chicago, DC, NY, but it's my Ya Ya's that some days I just miss most. Ya know, the kind of people that tell you your butt DOES look fat, that at some point I WILL be able to wear my jeans again and they will hand me a glass of wine or just sit and say nothing with me. If you don't have friends that you can literally sit in a room and not talk...just BE with... you are missing out on a crucial thing in life.

So basically, I'm rambling, but it's my blog. I can. I am in a time in my life where I go from married and care-free ... to MOM and full of worries. But, these past few months have been good because Holt and I talk a lot about how we will raise Tristan. What we will and won't do. Some of those things may change... some will be added, some subtracted, some completely ignored. WE have changed and I thank little T for a lot of that... even though he's not here yet, he has forced his mommy and daddy to be more responsible.

I'm thankful that I'm in the home stretch and the journey will then begin. I'm thankful that I have a group of friends that EVERY YEAR...NO MATTER WHAT... we go and we're together and I'm just Julie. Not an employee, not Holt's wife, or a daughter or a mom... just good 'old pain-in-the-butt Julie. I also have a great husband who loves me and allows me to be me. He's my best friend in the world and I'm quite sure that if he were female, somehow my Ya-Ya's would let him in our group. We don't let anyone's not a clique thing either... it's a HISTORY thing but yes, he's THAT cool.

So, all in all... in my "this makes no sense blog" it's just me... missing my friends, missing my family in NY but still VERY thankful for my life. I'm thankful that in 37 years I have turned out WAAAAY less than perfect, more flawed in my own eyes actually, but I can honestly say, I've never been more comfortable in my own skin. And these days........ there's a lot of it. Ha!!

Wish you were all here Ya-Ya's.... thanks for being part of the long nine months of pregnancy...some of you had to put up with me twice in one year. Poor souls. I love you!!

Holtie..........come home.... the boys and I miss you oodles. OH...and HAPPY 36th BIRTHDAY tomorrow.........we'll make it up to you when you come home. Love, Doodle

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