Tristan Holt Barber is here

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Tristan Holt Barber

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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Don't take it personally....

Ok, for all my fabulous friends and family...don't take it personally, but I don't want to talk. I don't want to email either.. that's talking. Deb Steiner will be sending out an update to friends, my mom will contact my family and Ruth Ann will call Holt's.... if I could sound some type of siren... I would.

Went to the doc today and Tristan has no interest in coming out. Not dilated, not moving or effacing, he's not dropping, nada. She can't induce because as of today, he won't go anywhere. I am going back Monday for a check-up and for a sonogram to see exactly how big he is. Then maybe he'll consider it.

I'm freaking out about work.... ugh.. don't even get me started...

I've got friends that are in really bad shape, one has a family member struggling with addiction and we're fearing for she and her kids safety, one is horribly ill, 2 have MAJOR depression issues, one is borderline homeless... so of course... the worry wart in me is in full bloom...

My house in Chicago is possibly going to sell (Sound familiar) but the up and down drama drives me insane and makes me feel crazy... we'll hopefully know by February... lovely....

I have a to do list that seems to grow and not shrink... people just don't do what they say they are going to do... sorry to those of you that procrastinate but for today you are my enemy!

Simba, for the second time in a week just bit/snapped at someone... oh and his ear won't stop bleeding... and then there is Aslan, the perpetual whiner... thankfully I just saw Marley and Me so I won't kill either of them...

I'm hormonal and angry. I guess that's it, I'm angry. I'm not stupid, I know things don't and won't always go my way but I'm just sick of it all... I'm DONE. This is my blog so I can be.

I'm scheduling Holt's vasectomy as soon as possible and don't any of you dare even comment on that. I AM NOT DOING THIS AGAIN...period. I love Tristan and can't wait for him to come out but he's it.. he's my one and only... he's my only dude. Well, besides Holt and God.

Oh and please don't lecture me about being induced... it's my body, my child and between God, Holt and I - I like medicine and I think my doctor is fabulous and smart. There, I've warned you know. Proceed with caution. And if I have him tomorrow and you call and say "I told you so" I will hang up on you.

So that's it... that's me, raw, foul, impatient, crabby, annoyed, uncomfortable, unable to breathe, ready to kill my dogs, MISERABLE and ungrateful. Just full of the Spirit, maybe tomorrow will be better... today stinks. Thank God for Holt... he loves me anyway.


  1. I would laugh... but I'm afraid...

  2. I'm afraid too! But I will say to you that my first would not move either. No dilation, no efacement nothing. I know what you are feeling. I would tell you some more advice but I know that is not what you need right now. I love you!

  3. um, some others of us luv u 2, miss julseee.
    Seth :)


  5. yo
    i had to be induced for both of mine. SCREW what anyone else thinks! please. people have more unsolicited opinions about pregnancy/nursing/blah blah blah everything associated with YOUR baby. being induced sucks but it gets the job done. my second was two weeks late and i cried for those two weeks every time i went to the midwives. they popped the little doohickey in there to get things going finally and about 3 hrs later, out popped a kid. btw, vasectomies RULE. :)